


Light

by Airmid



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 17:07:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8293435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Airmid/pseuds/Airmid
Summary: The time period on this is nebulous outside of some point in a change of events in season six.





	

The lights glowed in a dull warm way that was welcoming and she did not understand.

She who had seen stars burst and burn at her fingertips, those solar systems that flamed out without life but still beautiful in their time until they dissipated.

The beauty of the oldest of her baby brothers who had been unfolded in her many arms by her Father, his color that would later be both the dawn and the intensity of the sun.

In this long endless existence that refused to cease she had seen many forms of light and how it curled and moved. How she herself was made of it in the wave lengths of fire that burned through the void she had once known.

This was different. In this tiny study, dust thick in the air even over things used every day as if secrets of the past came equipped with it, this light was something separate. Perhaps it was the flesh her damage form was trapped in that altered her sensations, the actual true sensation of touch and sight that those of flesh experienced however limited was strange.

Perhaps it was just exhaustion and she was merely raising up something that should not be so raised up.

As she sat on the couch, her right side leaning up against the back she tried to put the pieces together. Here it was, a dead tree wrapped in lights that any creature would know was dangerous to have near it on this volatile plan. It glowed, the decorations they insisted upon taking and throwing that light in a thousand different patterns some so small that they couldn’t be detected but they existed whether acknowledged or not.

It was comfort and she did not understand.

His boots on the hardwood floor even hesitant as they were still told her he was coming before she caught his scent. She did not turn to where he stood in the doorway, watching her as she watched the tree, her hands neatly in her lap. Even if her senses remained she still felt the things of this body, the slight chill that snuck through the house from the storm outside, the sense of feeling exposed despite the blanket across her legs.

Without a thought she placed her hand over her stomach, wanting that strange human appeasement to touch and know everything was alright.

He didn’t say anything as he came in slipping behind her on the couch, his arm wrapping around her waist and hand tangling with her fingers for a moment. She knew without looking that he was looking at what she watched before he slid his hand from hers. For a moment she forced herself to not reach out and grab it, cling to it because even like this she could feel the warmth of his soul tucked up and humming despite the depravity done to it.

Then his hands were carefully removing the pins that kept her hair up, pulling them out as it was late and though she despised it, she needed things now like rest.

“You still have ridiculous hair,” he said, his voice low and close as more and more pins were pulled until the braid they had kept coiled up fell free.

She wanted to tell him she couldn’t cut it. That the woman so long ago that this vessel was based on was devout and that it was forbidden to alter her hair in that manner. She herself had not understood something so nonsensical even if at the time promises that she did had fallen from her lips.

She understood now.

“I am a monster,” she told him, feeling his hands still for a beat until fingers began undoing the strands from the twists of her braid.

“We both are.”

“Dean,” she tried to turn her head to see him but felt his mouth against her neck, a soft warm pressure and she wanted. There had been times before all of this, before she had turned cold and had forgotten love and turned vendettas into veiled examples of devotions that she had wanted. Things never allowed to herself, and after all the betrayal and isolation where things she did not allow herself to remember.

When he seemed satisfied that she was still again he leaned back and finished freeing her hair fully, letting it fall in soft waves against her back. His fingers combed through it like it was of value. It was dark and she knew it must shine even in this dim light, even in her current state.

“You’ve stopped drinking,” she finally said as his hand was back on her stomach, free hand tangling and untangling in her hair.

“I don’t want to be dad. I don’t want her to grow up –“ he cut himself off, kissing her neck again. Father it had been so long, not since the night that made this tiny life possible despite all their intentions and efforts.

“Dean,” she tried again, feeling him press up against her. The words of ‘why now’ after they had fought and stared and hated each other since her creation and now this.

“I just finally realized how fucking beautiful you are.”

She let him tilt her head back, even weakened she could resist but she didn’t want to. His mouth found hers, opening it with his tongue, their hands still laced over her stomach where their daughter grew.

Raphael would be coming for them soon, her little brother’s quest to rule where he felt their Father had failed had grown too large to fully stop without some form of violence. For an eon she had not cared that he thought Father dead and blamed her for it. Now she would give almost anything to go back and fix that terrible mistake, that day she became a general and shed her cloak of brotherhood forever.

Dean released her, sliding off the couch but pulling at her hand. His eyes were dark but there was something underneath the need they pulsed with. Something that she had long since felt was lost to her.

“Michael.”

Her name with reverence and she accepted that hand.

**Author's Note:**

> The time period on this is nebulous outside of some point in a change of events in season six.


End file.
